Stephanie Tanner’s Makeout Party Mixtape

Who are the rebel icons who inspired your wild spirit in your formative years? David Bowie? Courtney Love? Gia from Full House?

Yeah, Gia from Full House. Me too. Because she started smoking when she was 11 and threw makeout parties and had a perpetual jean jacket that epitomized the word “bitchin.” Clearly I was a Stephanie Tanner (precocious sarcastic nerd rocking questionable haircuts) tryna be a DJ (good at school, boys, and having blonde hair/ editor of the school newspaper). But Gia was maybe my first exposure to a TV bad girl, (even though they reformed her in later seasons and made her a fun loving side kick, who knows why, we all know that role belonged to Kimmy Gibler). Her final rebellion pre-sidekick transition takes place in one of my favorite sitcom episodes—the one, the only, “Making Out Is Hard to Do.”

After school special style episodes of all 90s family sitcoms are clearly the best, and “Making Out Is Hard To Do” is no exception. Gia throws a lights-out, frenching-fest while her mom is working the night shift at the restaurant. Stephanie, of course, shows up with a board game. But even she can’t escape the strong desire to mack, which she does, briefly, before (25 YEAR OLD SPOILER YOU GUYS) she calls home for a ride and the party gets busted by one of our nation’s filthiest comedians.

I fulfilled my life long dream of becoming an early 90s makeout party DJ with this playlist, and answered the question on all of our minds: What would Gia put on her makeout party mixtape? Lets take a closer look:

• “Satellite” by Dave Matthews Band: Oh Gia, little do you know that this will remain the makeout music du jour for the next several decades of bros. And no one can completely avoid the siren song of bros. Look forward to OAR.
• “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base: Because it is the 90s and it is mandatory and you already ruined “I Saw the Sign,” or maybe you do that in the future? There are limits to my Full House knowledge. There aren’t many, but there are some.
• “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star: Obviously swiped from the tape deck of a brooding college aged older sister who we never see. I imagine her coming home on breaks with a backpack full of zines and feelings and a Tiger Trap tape.
• “The Sweetest Taboo” by Sade: Falls into the “stolen from mom” category, a category that, if the show had gone on for three more seasons, would’ve included the station wagon and some cheap chardonnay.
• “Back And Forth” by Aaliayah: The jam, forever and always. Pairs well with makeout party mainstays like “I’ll Make Love to You” and “Dreamlover.”

Hey—were early 90s hits racy in a way that feels, while technically less explicit in language, more frankly sexual? I used to sing the words to many of these songs, loudly, whenever I got the chance, and the results of relistening now are blush-worthy.

Anyway—go forth. Makeout. Channel you inner rebellious teen. Meet me in the comments for a 90s nostalgia party—your favorite cringeworthy early 90s song, or Full House episode. GO!

What To Listen To After Haim’s “Days Are Gone” (by Claire)

How great is Days Are Gone? It’s the toast of 2013! And maybe 2014! It’s delicious Fleetwood Mac and 80’s pop in a blender! Haters to the left.

…but what’s next? Not for Haim; that’s clearly world domination (and an upcoming album inspired by Kanye West). What’s next for your listening habits?

Every new band that you like provides you with an opportunity to expand your musical palate. Those moments where your ear is open to new music are magical, and (for me at least), inconsistent. When they happen, capitalize them: Find out why you like what you like, and what else you might want to try out in the process. Add new bands to your music rotation. It’s fun and exciting and adds some verve to your life soundtrack—which, as we all know, adds some verve to your life.

Fellow Haim lovers, try these next steps for your listening life.  And well-connected Haim lovers, I also very genuinely wish all of these bands would join forces and have a festival. Maybe one that doesn’t sell out in two hours? Can anyone out there make this happens? We’ll just call it “Claire’s Dream Festival.”

Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara

Fellow sister act Tegan and Sara produced sleek pop gem Hearthrob last year to similarly buzzy rave reviews. Like the ladies of Haim, they’re sharp songwriters, slipping vivid haunting imagery into infectious pop jams. Pre-Heartthrob, Tegan and Sara made heavenly folk-punk that sometimes showed it’s pop roots; with Heartthrob, it’s pure pop, perfect for breakups and dance parties and falling in love.  The layered, echoey, vaguely electronic sounds, the gleam and gloss, is reminiscent of 80’s pop foremothers like Cyndi Lauper and early Madonna.

Journal of Ardency by Class Actress

Wikipedia points to Fleetwood Mac as the band Haim is most often compared to—it seems like reviews, good or bad, can’t help but throw some Stevie Nicks love in every time. I get it, I want to talk about Stevie Nicks all the time too. But you hear the 80’s pop mixed in with that Fleetwood-Mac-goodness, right? That’s what makes Class Actress’ Journal of Ardency an obvious next step. Class Actress lead singer Elizabeth Harper has the songwriting chops and clear, folky voice from her coffeeshop singer songwriter days. Like Haim, she pairs that with some serious 80’s pop influences. For Class Actress, unlike Haim, the results are less 70’s folk rock and more ethereal synthpop.

The Movement by Betty Who

Betty Who is creating great big glorious modern 80’s music. Who’s songs contain elements of pop anthems in old school teen movies, paired with 80’s mainstays like drum machines and loads of synth.  These are energetic songs: blissful, loud, huge, with Betty’s impressive pipes blaring on each track, framed in delicious pop-happy noise. Who is already huge in her native Australia and is due for some serious fame in the US.

Ride Your Heart by Bleached

Bleached is another sister act producing polished tracks with clear punk and indiepop sensibilities. Bleached’s sound is more guitar forward and aggressive than what you’ll hear on Days Are Gone. But the bands share a similar affinity towards tightly crafted, absurdly catchy songs featuring ear weevil choruses, clear narratives, and clean three to four minute time frames.

Hemiplegia by Haerts

Bring in the fellow indie darlings! Haerts’ features Nini Fabi’s haunting voice, spacious tracks, and absurdly catchy choruses, especially on “Hemiplegia” and “Wings.” You’ll find yourself walking around for days singing “I will never ever let you go/ I melt away into your afterglow.” Both tracks start slow then build into something glorious. That emotional manipulation is a trick that Haim pulls off well too, especially in “The Wire” and “If I Could Change Your Mind.”