Stephanie Tanner’s Makeout Party Mixtape

Who are the rebel icons who inspired your wild spirit in your formative years? David Bowie? Courtney Love? Gia from Full House?

Yeah, Gia from Full House. Me too. Because she started smoking when she was 11 and threw makeout parties and had a perpetual jean jacket that epitomized the word “bitchin.” Clearly I was a Stephanie Tanner (precocious sarcastic nerd rocking questionable haircuts) tryna be a DJ (good at school, boys, and having blonde hair/ editor of the school newspaper). But Gia was maybe my first exposure to a TV bad girl, (even though they reformed her in later seasons and made her a fun loving side kick, who knows why, we all know that role belonged to Kimmy Gibler). Her final rebellion pre-sidekick transition takes place in one of my favorite sitcom episodes—the one, the only, “Making Out Is Hard to Do.”

After school special style episodes of all 90s family sitcoms are clearly the best, and “Making Out Is Hard To Do” is no exception. Gia throws a lights-out, frenching-fest while her mom is working the night shift at the restaurant. Stephanie, of course, shows up with a board game. But even she can’t escape the strong desire to mack, which she does, briefly, before (25 YEAR OLD SPOILER YOU GUYS) she calls home for a ride and the party gets busted by one of our nation’s filthiest comedians.

I fulfilled my life long dream of becoming an early 90s makeout party DJ with this playlist, and answered the question on all of our minds: What would Gia put on her makeout party mixtape? Lets take a closer look:

• “Satellite” by Dave Matthews Band: Oh Gia, little do you know that this will remain the makeout music du jour for the next several decades of bros. And no one can completely avoid the siren song of bros. Look forward to OAR.
• “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base: Because it is the 90s and it is mandatory and you already ruined “I Saw the Sign,” or maybe you do that in the future? There are limits to my Full House knowledge. There aren’t many, but there are some.
• “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star: Obviously swiped from the tape deck of a brooding college aged older sister who we never see. I imagine her coming home on breaks with a backpack full of zines and feelings and a Tiger Trap tape.
• “The Sweetest Taboo” by Sade: Falls into the “stolen from mom” category, a category that, if the show had gone on for three more seasons, would’ve included the station wagon and some cheap chardonnay.
• “Back And Forth” by Aaliayah: The jam, forever and always. Pairs well with makeout party mainstays like “I’ll Make Love to You” and “Dreamlover.”

Hey—were early 90s hits racy in a way that feels, while technically less explicit in language, more frankly sexual? I used to sing the words to many of these songs, loudly, whenever I got the chance, and the results of relistening now are blush-worthy.

Anyway—go forth. Makeout. Channel you inner rebellious teen. Meet me in the comments for a 90s nostalgia party—your favorite cringeworthy early 90s song, or Full House episode. GO!